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Self-harm

What is self-harm?

Self-harm describes any behaviour where someone causes harm to themselves, usually as a way to help cope with difficult or distressing thoughts and feelings. It most frequently takes the form of cutting, burning or non-lethal overdoses. However, it can also be any behaviour that causes injury - no matter how minor, or high-risk behaviours.

Basically, any behaviour that that causes harm or injury to someone as a way to deal with difficult emotions can be seen as self-harm.

Self-harm usually starts as a way to relieve the build-up of pressure from distressing thoughts and feelings. This might give temporary relief from the emotional pain the person is feeling. It’s important to know that this relief is only temporary because the underlying reasons still remain. Soon after, feelings of guilt and shame might follow, which can continue the cycle.

Because there may be some temporary relief at the start, self-harm can become someone’s normal way of dealing with life’s difficulties. This means that it is important to talk to someone as early as possible to get the right support and help. Learning new coping strategies to deal with these difficulties can make it easier to break the cycle of self-harm in the long term.

How to stop hurting yourself?

Share your feelings

Don’t be afraid to ask for help whenever and however you need to. Talking about your feelings isn’t a sign of weakness. It shows that you are taking charge of your well-being and doing what you need to stay healthy. It isn’t always easy to express how you are feeling. If you can’t think of one word to describe a feeling, use as many as you need to illustrate how you feel.

Talking can be a way of coping with a problem you’ve been carrying around in your head for a while. Feeling listened to can help you feel more supported. And it works both ways: if you open up it might encourage others to do the same.

Distract yourself from self-harm

If you feel the need to harm yourself, try to give yourself a goal of getting through the next ten minutes without doing so. Distraction techniques can be a useful way to ‘ride the wave’ of emotion and overcome the urge to harm yourself.

  • Write down thoughts and feelings that are distressing you; crumple the page up, rip it apart and throw them out as a way to let go of that thought.

  • Get some play-dough: stretch it or squeeze it to relieve tension.

  • Hit a pillow or cushion to vent your anger and frustration.

  • Have a good scream into a pillow or cushion.

  • Take a minute and breathe or meditate.

  • Go for a walk to take yourself away from triggers. Being in a public place gives you the time and space to reduce the urge to hurt yourself.

  • Make lots of noise, either with a musical instrument or just banging on pots and pans.

  • Scribble on a large piece of paper with a red crayon or pen.

  • Call a friend or family member and talk to them. This doesn’t have to be about self-harm.

  • Do something creative: make a collage of colours to represent your mood or to remind you of your favourite things.

  • Listen to music you like or watch a film you enjoy.

  • Go online and look at self-help websites.

  • Talk to someone about what is triggering you or seek help from a professional.

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Source: Mental Health Foundation

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